I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Bring me that man meat
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
