Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
