she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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