i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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