i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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