I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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