im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
