well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
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