his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
