He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
