fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
