Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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