Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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