I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
