I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
