Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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