He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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