ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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