Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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