is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
