Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
