remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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