i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
