he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
