If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
