let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
