You're my little dorito
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
