Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
