Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
