went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
