my room smells like sperm. sweet.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
