Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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