i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
