The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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