her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize