I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
