Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
