Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
