i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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