this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
