It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
