Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
