Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
