i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
