This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Best friends brother. Beat that.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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