I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
