I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
