They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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