i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Randomize
