You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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