new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
