By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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