i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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