hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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