PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Randomize
