I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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