I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
