so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
