Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
