Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
