so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize