very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
cat food counts as protein by the way
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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