member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
