Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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