And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize